Hey Guys!!
For a while I've
been pretty confused on my feelings surrounding life. I've never properly thought
about how I feel and how things affect me. Since I was young I've hated the way I
look but recently I haven’t really been bothered because my brain space is
occupied with other things, things such as ‘do I even want to be alive’. I think
when someone wants to die, it’s the only thing that really occupies their mind,
your everyday life, your every waking moment is filled with ‘what’s the point’s
and ‘I don’t care’s. I think it would be pretty useless to think ‘I don’t want
to start the new year like this’ because you can’t change the way you think in
an instant – Rome wasn't built in a day and all- even if that’s what I wanted. I
feel as though 2015 is going to have lots of change, that to be quite honest
probably needs to happen. I don’t want to be like this any more, even if I'm
scared not to be.
They say that
you should only have three New Year’s resolutions to make it more achievable or
something like that- (which I think is ridiculous, if you honestly wanted 100
new year resolutions and really put your mind to it I think that you would quite
easily accomplish them all but knowing my sheer lack of motivation some days
and the fact that I am a professional procrastinator, I’m going to stick with
three haha.)
So here they are:-
1.)
To be
completely (okay maybe just a little more) comfortable in myself. If that
means losing weight then okay, if that means dying my hair, then go for it. But
what I need to be clear on and know is that I can only be comfortable with
myself if I'm doing these things for me, and only me. It is me who has to live
with this body, face and mind and so I will change them accordingly to myself, I
will love them and cherish them even if no one else wants to. I shall accept
myself.
2.)
Talk
about it more. Usually when I'm down or upset or even excited I don’t talk
about it because I don’t want to bother people with my emotions or thoughts. Especially
if I'm feeling down because I don’t want them to think I'm pathetic. One thing I
learnt in 2014 is that nobody thinks
that. My friends want me to tell them about my problems, they want me to share
things. The second thing I learnt surrounding this area in 2014 is that it
feels absolutely reliving to have
someone know and just listen to the things in your mind, and bottling things up
is not an okay way of coping with things
3.)
Positive
Vibes only. Sometimes in life we are friends with people or are surrounded
by things that only bring negativity. Drop
these things. If it’s a person, get rid of them, if it’s a place or thing
then avoid it. I know sometimes school brings a lot of negativity (this is true
for myself also) but unfortunately we can’t drop these things easily, however I
think we should try to see the good things in them, don’t let stress get on top
of you, don’t allow these things to control your life. Happy thoughts only.
I'm going to try
and stick with these things, and they are clearly things that can’t be
accomplished in a few weeks, they are going to take a lot of time. Obviously there
are other things I want to accomplish too. Such as: keeping a scrap book, go to
at least 3 new places, go out on a
midnight adventure, pull up my grades, help someone, volunteer, compliment people.
But I feel like some of these things shouldn't really be a resolution because
they are things that we should do anyway. At the beginning of last year I told
myself that 2014 was going to be about me, that I was going to work on myself
and to be fair, I did. I tried really hard but when things got tough I gave up
on myself. I'm not going to do that this year and this year isn't about only
me. This year I want to become a more loving, optimistic, free person that can
talk freely about her issues and isn't afraid to try new things. We don’t often try new things because we’re
afraid of failing them, but we can’t keep putting these things off.
The .saying ‘New Year, New me’ kind of
irritates me. You don’t instantly become a new person at the turn of an hour,
this is something that you’re going to have to work on. New Year is a new opportunity, a fresh start.
We should see each day as a new door, if the last door sucked then make the
next one better. I'm going to try to see the positives in things and have a
sense of adventure for everything. To be happy with things and change them if I'm
not.
I hope
this made sense to someone because I feel like it didn't haha. Don’t forget that
it’s okay to be scared or anxious
about change. Its not okay if you let
that fear or anxiety control you. You can do this. I hope you all have an
amazing new year, make it your best year so far.
Maybe comment any new year’s resolutions you have? Or if you
font have any maybe comment why?
Much Love – ThatGirl x
P.S (it’s a good job one of my resolutions aren't to be on
time because this post is three days late
... oops)
